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Stop being run by your feelings

By Morty Lefkoe

At one point or another, everyone has uttered the words: “I am happy.”  And: “I am upset.”

Notice what happens when you say: “I am [something].”  You are describing yourself.  Any words that follow the statement “I am” is your description of yourself.

Moreover, when we say, “I am [something],” it feels as if we really are that “something.”

It feels as if our entire being is happy, or upset, or anxious, or any other emotion we say we are.

But is that really who we are?

Most readers of my weekly blog have eliminated at least one belief using the Lefkoe Belief Process where they discovered that they are not merely a “creation,” who has beliefs and feelings and who takes action, they also are the creator of that creation.

Although the creation you think you are is comprised of your beliefs and feelings and what you do, the consciousness you really are is whole and complete, for whom anything is possible and nothing is missing.

Thus, it actually is more accurate to say: My creation has feelings, but I am not my feelings.

My creation has beliefs, but I am not my beliefs.

My creation takes action, but I am not what I do.

This is not merely semantics

When you experience that you are your feelings, you are totally at the effect of them.  They seem to pervade your entire being and there seems to be no escape from them.

When you experience that you have feelings, but they are not who you are, you make a clear distinction between “you” and “your feelings.”

That enables you to get some perspective on the feelings and to place your SELF outside the feelings, so that you are no longer at their effect.

How do you do that? 

There is a simple way to experience that you have feelings, but are not your feelings.

I’m not talking about an affirmation, where you try to convince yourself of something you don’t really believe.

I’m talking about experiencing the truth of the statement.

First, use the Who Am I Really? Process, which comes at the end of the LBP, several times.

You can get a link to the WAIR? Process at

Then, when you start having some negative feelings and you notice that you are at the effect of them, remind yourself what you experienced in the WAIR? Process: “I am the creator of my life, not merely a creation.”

And then remind yourself of the experience you will already have had: “I have feelings; I am not my feelings.”

When you do that, notice how the intensity of the feeling diminishes and how the feeling starts to lose its grip on you.

Try it and let me know your experience.  I promise it will transform the way you experience your feelings.

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If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, go to http://www.recreateyourlife.com/free where you can eliminate one negative belief free.

For information about eliminating 23 of the most common limiting beliefs and conditionings—which cause eight of the most common problems in our lives including a lack of confidence—and get a separate video of the WAIR? Process, please check out: http://recreateyourlife.com/naturalconfidence.

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Copyright ©2011 Morty Lefkoe. Re-published with permission.

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More articles by Morty Lefkoe.

Go to ReCreate Your Life where you can eliminate one limiting belief FREE,
using The Lefkoe Method.

Undo Public Speaking Fear with the Lefkoe Method
Next time you speak in public you can be fearful or fearless. It’s really up to you.

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Related article: Emotion Regulation: The 25th Character Strength
By Laura L.C. Johnson, Positive Psychology News Daily
In the Character Strengths and Virtues Handbook, emotion regulation is included within the classification for self-regulation. Self-regulation is conceptualized as self-control, or “how a person exerts control over his or her own responses so as to pursue goals and live up to standards. These responses include thoughts, emotions, impulses, performances and other behaviors.” I’d like to expand on emotion regulation as the 25th character strength and talk a bit about how to do it.

Related book: The Feeling of What Happens: Body and Emotion in the Making of Consciousness, By Antonio Damasio.

Photo: Jessica Chastain and Octavia Spencer in movie The Help – from post: Jessica Chastain: “I’m not an actor to be a personality.”

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